An Ode To The Women Who Are Trying

That millennial women have it hard when it comes to dating is an understatement. Millennial women are facing what will arguably be the most difficult years of their lives in respect to dating, and we’ve got our own generation to blame for this. With the widespread popularity of smartphone apps like Tinder and Okcupid, Clover and Bumble, we’ve quite literally been handed the most attractive picture for thousands of men, most of them accompanied by succinct biographies along the lines of “just here for casual fun” or “looking to find something serious”. We’re being given choices and the freedom to choose not only wisely, but on a whim.

What if, in it’s own twisted way, the way these dating websites so readily and easily present to us potential partners is what’s keeping us from finding the right one?

It’s definitely not a new argument that the hook-up culture that applications like Tinder encourage are hurting our ability to find meaningful and lasting relationships. When presented with so many choices, it’s seems only normal to constantly be searching for the next best thing, even when we have in front of us something potentially valuable. It turns us into the type of women who are constantly looking into a different yard and admiring how green the grass is, but never really slowing down enough to appreciate it.

I believe in love. I didn’t always. I’ve spent a large part of my life being the naysayer because I watched friends and family suffer through break-ups and emotional gauntlets in the name of love. I’ve spent too long believing in my heart that love, in whatever way it would eventually present itself to me, would be painful and difficult, that it would involve suffering for the sake of that love.

As I find myself approaching my next birthday, I’m realizing that I believe that less and less. I’m starting to see that, between the right two people, love will be easy and effortless, like taking one breath after another, and just as rewarding.

I believe in a lot of things. I believe in the power of that first cup of coffee in the morning and how smiling at strangers feels good even when that smile is not returned. I believe in good morning, good afternoon , good night and just-because-I-want-to kisses. I believe in walking away from people that hurt me without looking back.

I don’t believe in second chances for romantic transgressions or that bullshit about how we always hurt the ones we love. I don’t believe in “I’m just not sure what I want” because I believe we always know what we want, whether it’s another cup of coffee or a specific person.

I believe in a great love, in the power of finding the people who will help me conquer the world. I believe in soulmates and the different forms they take. I believe in sharing good food with greater company and the ways we are bonded in this way. I believe in true love.

You should, too.

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